Sometimes I fixate on something because 

I am trying to solve the puzzle of its emptiness 

My life’s work

Milking meaning out of two dimensions

Putting words into the cow’s open mouth

Complicating the flat line of a dull heartbeat 

Turning a half hearted moon into a full cheeky smile

How many times have I ascribed greatness

To a body many light-years away

A trick of time catching up way too late 

Once I reach you, a white dwarf 

Small, dense- slowly fading 

I want 

I want

I want to be humiliated by the splendor of other people

I want to be so overtaken with awe 

That the only thing to do is hide in the bath and

Hate myself

I want someone to outrun my imaginings

I want someone who can travel at the speed of light 

Who can meet me here 

in real time 

Where stars create other stars create other stars

—————————————————————————

The shift 

A good outfit put on slightly askew 

The seams don’t line up with midline 

As though your dress held in space 

and your body leaped a centimeter sideways 

The shift 

Turning the light in different directions 

As though you could see the other side of the sun 

just by squinting the right way 

The underside of something 

Damp and slightly squished 

Clammy 

Shifting 

Seasonal resolve 

How the roses and dahlias are the best in September 

Squeezing every last bit of beauty 

From the inevitable end 

I am ready to scope out my own darkness 

I am ready to shovel myself with the sweetness of a melon spoon 

I am ready for the deep knowing 

of the sharpest knife under the 

Softest pillow 

It smells like coconut 

And aches with secrets 

It is night time 

I am rotating on the axis of my chest

I feel the caverns of my body filling and emptying with the same easy tempo 

Of the roses and dahlias 

Of everything 

————————————————————————

You aren’t my first thought 

Anymore 

When the sun is a golden surprise 

During gloomy season 

When the climbing temperature 

Steadies my weathervane knees 

and the boy child inside me screams 

BIKE RIDE

and I zoom off with my imaginary cohort 

The glory of finding treasure or a dead body 

The glory of the time before 

we are permanently organized 

The glory of your joy

and your blackberry picking

Prismed out of sight in the glowing Saturday afternoon 

Your erasure a sunburst migraine 

At last 

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I am the mountain